We Want To Believe

In a time of desperation to connect with something that’s far out of reach, it seems as though we attempt to shorten the distance through repeated formulae. Whether the formulae have any credibility, nobody truly knows, but we continue to put faith in them because they are the only things that can connect us to what once was. We want to believe in order to rescue what this new cavity has removed.

Various out-of-the-ordinary episodes have arisen in the last few days. May they be attributed to the recent death of a family friend, or is believing in something intangible simply our way of burying a hole?
Do we notice similar episodes when we aren’t in need of hope, or is the thing we cannot physically grasp truly existant here and now, for a reason? It’s nice to think that when we die the world doesn’t just dispose of whatever soul is left. Does it matter if it doesn’t reach the level of what’s factual, but only what’s true?

Shock Absorber

You exist, but so does the hollow mass that resides within you. It may be weightless, but it’s heavy like a melon. Above your gut and below your heart, it’s the center of you, but not the center of everything you are. When it gets the opportunity, it tends to travel, climbing up your esophagus or dwelling deep into the pit of your stomach. It follows you whereever you go, but most of the time you mistreat it’s desire to be your friend. But who would want to befriend a hollow mass? Masses are much better served with masses to them, heavy and fulfilling. You wonder where it’s origins lie. Could it be genetic, or is this merely your own manifestation emerging out of a will to find order? Perhaps this was a relationship meant to be, like lovers from opposite ends of the continent, or colours from opposite ends of the spectrum. But here we are: without answers or direction. Doubt quickly fills this hollow nemesis, as you know filling it with something of substance isn’t as easy as a visit to the local petro station. No thousand-dollar operation will do the trick either, but you’ve heard rumours that cures exist. What then? Let a relationship strain through continued ignorance or convert repulsion into affinity? Maybe attraction isn’t the connection being desired. Is it possible that the only reason you’re being stalked is because you’re the only one that can set this fabricated weight free?

Facebook Invites

The most annoying thing in the world. Well, maybe not the world, but it really is up there along with poor ink-dispersing pens, Carrot Top and people who chew their food loudly.

I go on Facebook and every time I do I always have at least one invitation to some poor application. And the unfortunate part is, I don’t get these invitations from a wide-range of people, it’s one person. She wants to give me teddy bears, roses, seahorses, Winnie the Pooh. She wants to SuperPoke me to death. Bitch-slap me. Compare me with her friends. She wants to fill out quizzes, tell me I’m her best friend, tell me what kind of princess I am (I’m definitely Snow White, yo). It’s almost to a point where it’s not worth being her friend over. Well, of course the better option is to tell her to stop sending me invites.

I guess I just don’t understand the big appeal of so many applications. I use applications too, but in moderation, and usually only the half-decent ones. And if for some reason I do want to check out an application, I won’t spam my friends with invites. Rule of Thumb: If an application forces you to invite, it’s not a good application.

By George, It Must Be

The unconscious will of all organisms is to pass on their genes to their offspring so that their traits may propogate in the population. It’s the very basis of evolution.

This is true, but then we reach the case of humans, who partly defy this rule by not having sex for solely reproductive purposes (albeit, other organisms follow similar patterns, but shh, that’s beside the point). Surely there is still an unconscious evolutionary mechanism telling even us, the magnificant homo sapien, that we need to reproduce to pass our genes on. But could there be a conscious one as well? Hells yea.
Everybody’s parents do it.
“David, when are you going to get a girlfriend?”
“Sarah-Joe, have you met any boys at school?”
“So, when are you…y’know, gonna get married.”

This is nothing more than a scheme by parents to pass on their genes. Why else are these child-manufacturing machines concerned with the love life of their product? This is the conscious goal of the human species. Conspiracy now.

Ultimate Forms of Flattery

Presented is a small guide for those who plan to address engagement in the future. If you and a loved one share the same profession, it is likely you will feel compelled to incorporate that mutual passion into your love life.

Planet Earth

I have a tendency to watch every DVD that comes into my house. My brother sometimes borrows videos from friends and the moment it enters my house, for reasons unknown to me, I get this desire to watch every single episode contained within. It happened when the first season of 24 made a visit. It happened again when the first season of Prison Break popped in. It is apparently my obligation to give the videos the viewage they deserve.

Peculiar Urges

Yea, you know you’ve had the urge to randomly throw your pencil at the front of the room while attending a lecture at school. You do have that urge, don’t deny it.

^There’s a blog, A’ron.

(almost as good as your “saturday school sucks” blog. though, it doesn’t quite beat it.)

Drugs

The following commercial from 1992 is the reason why I never did drugs.

Shorter version

I love Canada.

The Art of To-Do Lists

To-do lists have traced back to the cave, when dirty, lumpy, obscure-looking little cavemen would write on the walls into the wee hours of the morning. Often times, cavemen-made to-do lists comprised of little more than two or three items:

But since those primitive times, we’ve evolved, and so have our to-do lists.

Merry Christmas!

Hey y’all.

I haven’t written a decent blog in a long time, and I don’t plan to start anytime soon. But I do want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Afterall, this is the best time of year and you should all enjoy it.

If enjoyment of this fine holiday has not commenced, step one is listening to this:

O Holy Night.mp3

(Seriously, listen the whole way through. It’ll brighten your day.)