Alright, alright. You got me again. God, stop catching me in such grisly acts. I missed the Sunday deadline on my self-established project…what is it…5 times, 6 times? Oh dear, too many to count. The first miss was a fairly good excuse…very busy week, I figured I could catch up the next week. The second miss was a very sore miss, completely unnecessary. And by the third miss, I had already gotten into such a deep mess that I couldn’t get out. It’s so easy to lose control once you’ve made one slip, this I’ve learned. But, I’m back and ready to punch these blogs in the face, one day at a time. If all goes according to plan, my blog will feel mentally raped by the putrid filth I inject into it. Cheers. =D
Recently someone brought to my attention that love is chosen. We choose to love our parents, our dog, our friends, our lover (or in my case, lovers–rawr…oh dear god, who am I kidding 
). We don’t actually trip, stumble and fall into the lap of Love, but choose to love or become infatuated with our significant other. I hadn’t really considered this action of choosing too much before, but I understand the concept has some validity. We may choose to love a lot of things, but I think most of where choice plays a role, at least in social love, is in choosing not to love someone. We may not initially love with direct intention (those in desperation illustrate this well), but I can understand that maintaining that love is where we make the most direct impact.
Part of my issue with love and choice stems from my inability to internalize that people can control their emotions. This is something I have great difficulty doing. I have indirectly controlled my emotions by altering past opinions or learning through experiences, but the concept of direct immediate control of an emotion is something I have difficulty grasping. Is it even attainable? Perhaps but I am certain it requires magnificent mental control–beyond what I currently possess. Even if we do possess great control, I feel as though much of this ‘choice’ to love is an illusion. Sure, we may have some choices there, but most of why we love is a product of circumstances. These circumstances dictate our choices, and so is there really as much choice as we think? Probably not.
Much of the problem with even discussing love comes from the problem of defining it. A great part of how we ‘choose’ to love can be confused with us just choosing ways to express our love. Love still exists whether it is expressed or not, wouldn’t you say? The choice isn’t seen be actions because actions aren’t always the definers of existence. Actions may speak louder than words, but words aren’t mute.
Part of the trouble with defining love comes from it’s broad use. We use one word to describe several meanings, many of which are incomparable to one another. Can we ever say that loving one’s family is a more important kind of love than loving one’s friends? I often wonder why there is so much weight on familial love. Even when a relative has done nothing right in our lives, we must love them unconditionally. But we are truly fooling ourselves if we love these people so much because they are family. We need real reasons to love. Never have I heard people care so much about DNA.
Filed under: Reflect | Tagged: choice, dna, emotion, family, friends, love
